tales of a pinay single mom

Last Friday while at the mall checking out bed frames for our new place, I happened to pass by Fully Booked and bought a book. I originally wanted to buy Time Traveler’s Wife because I’ve read one good review about it by desperateblogger but I ended up buying Twilight by Stephanie Meyer.

All the books of Stephanie Meyer are on sale so I grabbed a copy but not before encountering a funny and somewhat irritating incident. Just I was flipping through the pages of the book, I asked a teenager beside me why the book became so popular. She told me that it’s a story of a couple and their forbidden love. Forbidden because the guy happens to be a vampire and is torn between his love for the girl and his true nature as a vampire. Oh well, that’s the gist of the story. Intriguing, right?

I was already convinced to buy the first book but guess what this girl said to me. “But I don’t know if you can appreciate it. You know, it’s a story of two youngsters.” So I smiled, got the book and walked away.

The nerve.

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I’ve been eating a bowl of green salad and a fruit for the past few nights. And I feel great. This is my last quarter of the year resolution. To eat a bowl of fresh greens and a serving of fruit daily.

No, I’m not dieting. I just want to nourish myself with the needed fiber. My diet for the past year had been all meat and carbs and I know that if I keep eating that way, I might have colon cancer or something. So I vow to eat something healthy daily. No matter how much sweets and unhealthy items I’ve had for that day.

This is an effort on my part. Imagine, I have to pass by the grocery every other day to buy fresh vegetables and fruits. I just couldn’t stock up on these freshies because as you know, they don’t remain fresh for long.

If I could do this for a month or longer, I might consider adding an exercise program or anything that resembles moving up and down, forward or backward.

diet

I’ve finally chosen a contractor and the project would hopefully start next month. I hope we wouldn’t have a hard time getting the necessary permits from the building administration because that’s the feedback I’ve been getting from other unit owners.

You know what, I’ve chosen all the materials (tiles, paint, lighting, wood finish, floor finish etc.) based solely on the books and magazines I bought specifically for that purpose. I didn’t make the rounds of home depot, furniture shops and construction materials store like what other homeowners usually do. I don’t know why but I already know what I want and ‘window-shopping’ for materials, in my opinion, won’t influence my decision.

I will post the bare structure of the unit soon. And probably after a month, I would be able to post the ‘finished look’ of my place. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this project would be over before Christmas. I really want to move in and spend Christmas in my new home.

home

After all those heartaches, confrontations, boring conversations and all those losers, you would think that a woman can become so jaded and opt to stay single the rest of her life. But no, women are bound to overcome their reluctance and go out in the dating world and get bloody.

So how do we get bloody? Experts say, and I don’t know personally who these people are, to find mates in singles bars and single groups. And I couldn’t even name the leading singles bar here in and around the metro. And to hang out in one is something I haven’t thought of doing. I would rather crash my cart into a man’s cart hoping that he’ll notice me. Which is also pathetic but more realistic than waiting and wasting my time in a single’s bar. Single moms are known to multi-task. I can do my grocery shopping while looking out for single men.

After you’ve made the move, what’s next? Initiate contact, of course. How does one do that? By having an opening line. But I can’t think of an opening line and I don’t know anyone who has one or any person who uses one. ‘Hi, I’m a horny mom, what’s your name?’ or ‘Hi, I’m desperate. Will you talk to me?’ In fact, experts say any line will do. And these same experts say that the trick is to say it to enough people and some will eventually respond.

Finally, having initiated contact, have a decent conversation. Well, even a superficial conversation might do the job. I mean, after all the stupidity and embarrassment you’ve put yourself into, the guy might pity you and you might end up having coffee with the guy or you might end up with Friday night date. What is there to lose?

dating

I’m convinced that my community is the worst for singles. Not only do I have to compete with all the singles here, I also have to compete with the gays who dominate the Quezon City area. What’s worse is that the rest of the men are either married or jerks. And I’m a single mom which makes it harder.

Experts say that you are more than likely to meet single men in singles’ church group. Do you believe this? Looking for love in Churches. Am I that desperate? Men expect good looks in women. Women expects stability. Some say to lower my expectations. That I should have realistic expectations. That I shouldn’t be looking for a Brad Pitt look-alike or a well-off man. That I should be looking for the average joe. Which I think is crap. If that’s the case, I would rather stay single. Is it wrong to want the best?

Another rule is to go out more. But single moms prefer to stay home with the kids. I prefer to stay home and if I have the free time, I would rather have a massage or a facial. Well, I just hope that single men hang out in those places. Which brings me to another rule experts say is another trick to meet men. Hang around in places men congregate. Like the gym, golf course, basketball courts and even schools and at the workplace. Gosh, I haven’t been to these places in ages. No wonder I don’t meet men.

More impossible rules to come…

dating, meeting men

I received this award from one of the first few persons who welcomed me in the blogosphere. A good friend and a talented writer. Thanks for this I LOVE YOUR BLOG award, Lotus Flower. This early, someone is loving what I do. BTW, I do love your blog, too.

Now I have to pass this to my friends in the blogging world. But first the rules:

The rules of the award are:

1. The winner can put the logo on her blog.
2. Link the person you received your award from.
3. Nominate at least 7 other blogs.
4. Put links of those blogs on yours.
5. Leave a message on the blogs of those you have nominated.

Previous awardees: Mabelle, Prily, Ate Norma, I Love Philippines Too, Shenga, Nova, WebbieStuffs, Nancy, Webloglearner, Pinay Wahm, and My So Called Life, Let’s Spice Things Up, Beauty and Shop, Idealpinkrose, allin, kimchiland, Korean Food, The Paper Vision, Embrace Simplicity, Me and Mine, A Window To Our World, A Grateful Heart, Can of Thoughts, A Mother’s Stuff, Housewife @ Work, MommaWannabe, ibanag cooking, pinaysinglemommy.
ADD YOUR LINKS HERE

I am passing this award to riablahgs, mommy liza, manilenya, pinayjade, shabem, hotmomma, desperateblogger, barefootedme, crissyhaven, brownpinay, labubblychica, mommyelvz, ezrah, toni, sheila, pinaymommy, anefallarme, and braniac. You know I love your blogs so much. =)

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When I started going with a man I’ll call Joel, no one instantly liked him. My friends told me that we didn’t look good together. They didn’t even like his hair. And his eyes.

When I admitted that Joel and I had talked about living together, I was met with sighs then later on violent reactions and then the serious talk came in last. Living in with a boyfriend apparently is not a cool thing to do, not for my friends and definitely not with my son, Chollo who has a dad and is not looking for another one.

I think kids don’t like the sharing part much, perhaps it’s the fear of losing the only person they originally thought were theirs. I don’t blame them. They probably suspect that they would be forced to accept what they have no intention of accepting. It’s not easy to make the kids like who you like. For that matter, it’s not easy being a single mom. Or a kid with a single mom. Or even the man entering the life of a girl plus one.

Well, things never got much better with Joel. We parted ways eventually. Thank God. He was a womanizer and a flirt. And it took me two years to finally give up the guy. Now, his face can be seen in one of those billboards along EDSA.

men

Having gotten over morning sickness, foul smell and equally foul moods, comes late-night feedings, crying and burping. Taking care of a child, does it ever end?

I had a baby 4 years ago and still have not had one whole day to myself. When she was still a baby, she would cry everytime I put her down. When I asked her if she wanted anything, she would say no. When I wanted to leave the room, she would say no. When I wanted to go to the toilet, she would again say no. I even asked her for a lav pass but she said no. I had sleepless nights figuring out if there was something wrong with me. She had me wrapped around her little fingers. She was the boss.

I tried offering her bribes just so I could take a bath alone or eat in the dining room. But they didn’t work. So bath time for me was always with open doors and mealtime were always in bed. I didn’t look forward to breakfasts in bed anymore because I knew I would still have them the following morning and the next.

What helped me in those dark days was to convince myself that it was only a phase. That she would soon grow up and and would not always be that way. That she would soon change her own diaper and mash her own vegetables or even make her own milk. That she would soon go out in the world, go to school, marry, start her own company, be successful and refuse to give me a cent in my old age (although not necessarily in that order).

Most of them happened with a bit of exaggeration, of course. =)

kids

Have you seen how many self-help books are out there? I was in the bookstore today to buy my little one a new notebook and I ventured to the book section. Unluckily, the first aisle I went into was the self-help/psychology books. And they’re so many. Self-help books have become a thriving business. But it’s excessive. There are hundreds on love alone. Then there are books on addiction, self-esteem, even self-help on shopping. Maybe they could also provide a title on self-help book addiction.

Whatever happened to good old bestsellers? I think they’re still out there but getting fewer by the day. The books I’ve purchased lately are classics like because I can’t find newer titles that are interesting.

It’s startling to see that there’s a variety of books on any kind of behavior or addiction or condition. We now have love addicts, doormat syndrome, workaholics, sex addicts, OC syndrome. Maybe it has got a little out of hand. Maybe there is really a need for it. But it doesn’t make sense sometimes. It’s like we are living in a world where every which you turn you encounter a disease or a problem. Again, whatever happened to good old simple living?

If progress would mean this, seeing ourselves helpless and sick and not able to figure out on our own what to do, then the most addicted or sickest of us all will get the most benefit out of this crazy self-help publishing trend.

I don’t know. I’m probably the sickest of us all. Judging these books. Passing judgment is the oldest addiction. But I haven’t found a book on the subject. If ever you see one, just throw it in my direction please.

reviews

Have you experienced this ladies? Just last month, as I was going through my usual routine of preparing my kid to school, I had a serious mid-week crisis. No, not midlife crisis. Mid-week. I don’t know if it was brought about by stress or hunger or whatever. I think I hadn’t eaten anything that particular morning.

You see, for the past four years I have been a mild-mannered, laid-back stay-at-home mom. It is a strange life compared to the rat race I came from. I was used to rushing to meet deadlines and sales targets that it was difficult for me stay put in one corner doing nothing. Now, the only deadline I need to meet is my daughter’s toilet time.

On the midweek in question, I passed by a garbage dump after I brought my kid to school. I saw an old lady with a cute Gucci bag. She was dressed decent enough but the odd thing was, she was fishing a hamburger out of the trash. I took a second look (to see if her bag was genuine) and saw her placing the burger inside the designer bag she carried. Now, I don’t want to judge or anything but she was properly dressed and she looked normal to me. Which got me thinking, and I thought real deep. Will I do the same thing when I grow old?

Would I walk some old streets with a designer bag and pick up spoiled food from a trash bin? Honestly, the disturbing image of the old lady made me fear growing old even more. It made me desperate. It made me go to my manicurist and tried on a different shade of nail polish. It nearly made me want to chop off my hair and try sporting shorter hair. I even considered overdosing on glutathione and other anti-aging supplements.

This is not a laughing matter. I don’t want to spend my old age going through other people’s garbage or walking on some random streets singing vintage Madonna’s songs. Seriously.

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